Saturday Night Live guest host Matt Damon reprised his role as Supreme Court justice Brett Kavanaugh, who reveals to drinking buddies Pete Hegseth and Kash Patel what Donald Trump‘s political future will look like.
Kavanaugh and Hegseth (Colin Jost) first boast about they’ve been up to, like ending abortion and starting a war. That prompts Kavanaugh to talk about the “real” war: “male loneliness.”
“I used to have all my buddies to hang out with… I just wish there were more people in this administration who could really hang,” he laments, as Patel (Aziz Ansari) enters.
“Does this bar take Kash?!” the FBI director exclaims, before unveiling one of the bottles of bourbon engraved with his name.
“I bring my own alcohol to bars because sometimes people think I’m a kid with a fake ID. They say, ‘Nobody would make this face in official photos,’” he says, mocking Patel’s wide-eyed expression.
“We are all living the American Dream,” he tells his buddies. “I am the first person in my family to go to college—parties, many years after graduating.”
A Secretary of War, a Supreme Court Justice, and an FBI Director walk into a bar pic.twitter.com/yGACw2vf4e
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When Kavanaugh asks if Patel really is paranoid enough to make FBI staffers take polygraph tests, Patel denies it.
“No, I told them to make a graph of everyone in the FBI who’s poly. My girlfriend wants to open up our relationship!” he says, as they exchange high-fives. “Yeah, she says she wants to bring other guys into the bedroom and for me to stay in the living room.”
Kavanaugh then takes the opportunity to confide something “top secret” in his pals.
“We’re going to let Trump do a third term,” he says, as Hegseth and Patel lose their minds.
“I thought that was unconstitutional?” the Defense secretary asks.
“It was,” Kavanaugh replies, “until Trump found the original Constitution and at the end of it wrote, ‘Sike!’ We’re going to live forever!”
From Rolling Stone US
