Jon Stewart took aim at Kash Patel on the latest episode of The Daily Show, mocking the FBI Director for joining the Team USA men’s hockey team after their big Olympics win.
“This country is in such emotional turmoil right now,” Stewart said. “A feeling that we are one nation divided, under siege. That perhaps we have crossed a Rubicon of this great American experiment, and that we, slowly and inexorably, are sliding into the abyss of fallen and broken democracies. But then!”
Stewart recounted Team USA’s win at the Olympics over the weekend. The U.S. hockey team triumphed over Canada in Milan—an event that was attended by Patel. Stewart shared footage of the game’s final moments, cheering as he noted, “I know the powerful elites remain unaccountable, but he put that thing behind that other guy!”
He continued, “This country was sinking into a cesspool we can’t recover from, but the vulcanised rubber disk went past the lord of the net. It was so unifying. There is nothing that can take away from the joyous moment as all Americans celebrate this incredible—wait, what the fuck?”
Stewart then shared a photo of Patel wearing one of the team’s gold medals in the locker room. “Is that FBI Director Kash Patel?” Stewart inquired. “And why are they putting a medal around the neck of FBI Director Kash Patel? Is Kash Patel a Make-a-Wish man? Kid? Is that what this is? And I’m not trying to diminish his condition. Listen, there is currently no cure for crazy eyes.”
The host added that MAGA is “going crazy for the victory,” with one commentator saying the win offsets the current “estrogenic culture.”
“First of all, what a super weird year hockey is having,” Stewart responded. “In four months, to go from, ‘Nobody gives a shit about hockey’ to ‘Well, I like to watch them fuck’ to ‘Only hockey can save us from a dystopian estrogenic future.’”
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Stewart explained that the right is also thrilled about being able to take shots at Canada. The host cut to a clip from Fox News, with reporters saying Canadians are “basically communists” and that “hockey is all that they had and we took that away.”
“What is with this sore winning?” Stewart said. “And by the way, don’t we have enough real enemies? Now we got to pretend like Canada’s way of life is incongruous to the west? ‘Yeah! Fuck those completely best neighbors our nation has ever had!’”
He added, “So there you have it folks. We have defeated our new enemy, Canada, on the ice and vanquished them to the penalty box of history. Now America can live in a golden era of peace and prosperity.”
Elsewhere in his monologue, Stewart discussed Donald Trump‘s threats against Iran and how the Supreme Court took a wrecking ball to Trump’s “wildly unpopular” tariff strategy.
“Wow. A court composed mostly of his own party’s appointees has struck down the constitutionality of Trump’s go-it-alone tariff regime,” Stewart said. “That’s bound to cause him some introspection.”
Stewart cut to a clip of Trump calling the Supreme Court a “disgrace to our nation” and suggesting the justices are an “embarrassment” to their families. “When a guy who had sex with a porn star right after his wife had given birth tells you you’re an embarrassment to your family, I think you have to take that seriously,” he said.
From Rolling Stone US
