Jon Stewart returned to The Daily Show last night and used the opportunity to comment on the recent rumours of Donald Trump‘s death.
After playing news clips of reporters speculating on the president’s well-being, Stewart quipped, “What the fuck? You people, you reporters, have no chill! Guy can’t take a few days for some R&R and a non-surgical breast reduction without everybody suddenly pulling out the toe tags? It does say something about the ubiquity of Donald Trump in our lives that we don’t hear from him for 20 minutes and we’re like, ‘He’s dead!’”
He added, “Of course Trump didn’t die in office. But I wouldn’t put it past him, trying once again to take credit for something Biden had already accomplished.”
The host noted that despite Trump being alive “something is up with his health.” He then played then played another series of clips of reporters explaining what might be wrong with Trump, including people commenting on his swollen ankles, bruised hands, and “lumpy” eyes.
“All right, now you’re just being mean,” Stewart replied. “‘He’s got swollen ankles.’ ‘Look at his fucking eyes! They are lumpy!’ See, this is the problem with our superficial Instagram culture. We have unrealistic expectations in this country about the amount of fluid our bodies should be able to clear subcutaneously. It sends the wrong message to young people. These really are not medical appraisals. It’s just more like insults.”
Stewart explained that the concern is not just Trump’s physical health, but also the way his allies speak about him. “It’s not just the physical symptoms that make you think the president is transitioning from this mortal coil,” the host noted. “It’s that whenever any of his biggest supporters are with him, it sounds like they’re saying goodbye.”
He continued, “Once you begin to notice it, you begin to see really the whole vibe around this president is very Make-A-Wish kid. Everyone who shows up to his office makes one of his dreams come true.”
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Some examples of Trump’s Make-A-Wish moments include the president receiving an honorary United States Marshal Service badge, his supporters demanding he get the Nobel Peace Prize, and the Supreme Court allowing federal agents to target people for deportation based on their race or language.
“Hey, the good news: The Supreme Court supports affirmative action based on race,” Stewart said. “The bad news is that action is ICE deporting you. What the fuck? What kind of Make-A-Wish kid wants to nullify the Fourth Amendment?”
Stewart concluded his monologue with a black and white clip of him pretending to be on The Twilight Zone. “For your consideration, a nation held hostage by the fragile ego of a man-baby president, who may or may not be dying of hand-syphilis,” he intoned to the camera. “But is puffy. I don’t know if he’s dying. He’s weirdly puffy. And who we’re trapped with for at least three more years. In The Twilight Zone.”
From Rolling Stone US
