It wasn’t exactly a night full of surprises. Nikki Glaser killed as host, Timmy Chalamet won for Marty Supreme. Jennifer Lopez looked even younger than the last time you saw her. Adolescence and The Pitt cleaned up. But the 83rd Annual Golden Globe Awards were once again the rare awards show that didn’t feel like a chore to watch. The speeches were snappy, the comedy bits rarely dragged, and we didn’t have to sit through award categories like Best Sound Mixing (sorry, sound mixers). In one notable departure from standard award-show proceedings, there were few moments of political protest or even acknowledgement that the world is on fire, save the “Be Good” pins many attendees sported in memory of anti-ICE activist Renee Nicole Good. Instead, it seems, folks were in the mood to keep things light. This show was filled with fun moments, from everyone freaking out over Queen Latifah to a delightfully random standing ovation for Julia Roberts. Here’s a look at the highlights and lowlights.
Best: Nikki Glaser Retains Her Title as Queen of the Globes
“Just like Frankenstein, I’ve been pieced together by an unlicensed European surgeon,” host Nikki Glaser said, launching into her second casually masterful Golden Globes monologue in a row. She asked George Clooney to fix her Nespresso. She found a fresh way of roasting Leo DiCaprio for his perennially under-30 romantic partners, pointing out, “We don’t know anything else about you, man! Like, open up! I searched — the most in depth interview you’ve ever given was in Teen Beat magazine in 1991.” She got Sean Penn to laugh at the suggestion that he’s begun to look like a “sexy leather handbag.” She took a shot at the Bari Weiss-ified CBS News on the very network airing the Globes: “The award for Most Editing goes to CBS News.” She claimed that Hamnet was “actually the original name for Spanx.” And she closed out by thanking Steve Martin and Martin Short for “proving to us that in this industry, you are never, ever too old to still need money.” —Brian Hiatt
Best: Teyana Taylor Loses Her Cool
The first Golden Globe of the evening went to Teyana Taylor for her role as Perfidia Beverly Hills in Paul Thomas Anderson’s One Battle After Another. She looked genuinely stunned when her name was called, and couldn’t hold back the tears as she addressed the room. “Oh, my God!” she said. “I almost didn’t even write a speech since I didn’t think I would be here. My babies are upstairs watching. They better be off their damn phones and watching me right now!” She composed herself enough to thank everyone involved with the movie in rapid-fire succession — including Paul “Let Him Cook” Thomas Anderson — before closing with a message to “my brown sisters and little brown girls watching tonight: Our light doesn’t need permissions to shine. We belong in every room we talk into. Our voices matter. Our dreams deserve space.” —Andy Greene
WTF: ‘Play By Play’ Commentary From the Show’s Sidelines
We’re all about trying new things to shake up the awards-show format, but producers of this year’s Globes had a swing and a miss when borrowing a gambit from sports broadcasts. Veteran entertainment journalists Marc Malkin and Kevin Frazier were posted up stage-side, tasked with providing live commentary as winners approached to claim their awards and before the show went to commercials. (“Can’t wait for George and Julia!”) The impulse was clearly to fill dead space and cram in a few extra jokes or interesting factoids, but this isn’t a dog show or hockey game. Between that and the Google Maps-like pin indicating actors’ locations in the crowd (Oh, is that where Mark Ruffalo’s sitting? Great!), think we can safely say not all of these valiant experiments work. —A.G.
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Best: ‘Sinners’ Nabs the Audience Award
It’s easy to raise your eyebrows at the very existence of this recently introduced award, which is limited to movies that gross over $150 million. But a victory for the most daring of the nominated films (if not all of this year’s releases), Ryan Coogler’s Sinners, with its singular combination of vampires, the blues, and Black history, is enough to make the whole thing worth it. In his speech, Coogler thanked the audience “for showing up” — making it clear he wasn’t sure if his gamble would pay off. —B.H.
WTF: Bobby Cannavale Skips the Show to Attend a Reptile Expo
From the Unexpected Comedy Department: When Rose Byrne won the award for best female actor in a musical or comedy for her harrowing portrayal of a mom in crisis in If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, there was no sign of her partner, Bobby Cannavale, at the table. Was he sick, you may have wondered? Filming a movie at a remote location? Nope and nope. At the end of her sincere and emotional speech, Byrne solved the mystery for us: “My husband couldn’t be here because we’re getting a bearded dragon,” she said, “and he went to a reptile expo in New Jersey, so thank you, baby.” This was no joke. Repticon was indeed taking place this weekend at the NJ Convention and Exposition Center in Edison, New Jersey. Good for Bobby. The Golden Globes take place every year. Repticon may never come around again. —A.G.
Best: Matt Remick Wins a Golden Globe for Real
Before Seth Rogen played the hapless, too-eager-to-be-loved studio head Matt Remick, he rarely got awards love, so it was nice to see his streak of wins for The Studio continue. Rogen brought his rumpled charm to the moment, joking about how he thought the only way he’d ever win a Golden Globe was to write it into his show (see: Episode Eight). Then he duly thanked his fellow nominees as only he can: “Steve Martin and Martin Short especially — I remember growing up watching you guys my whole life thinking, ‘One day I’m going to beat them.’” —B.H.
Worst: A UFC Bit Falls Flat
After a confusing pause in the show — several seconds with no music, no voiceover, and no one on stage — an announcer heralded the arrival of “security” for Heated Rivalry stars Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie. Suddenly, amid flashing lights and some cheesy guitar riffs, two UFC fighters (we think?) strutted on stage… and then quickly skulked off, seemingly regretting the whole thing. Baffling! Thankfully, Williams and Storrie stole the moment back before we had time to think too hard about it. —B.H.
Best: Nikki Glaser Roasts Podcasts, the Globes Celebrates Them
Nicole Kidman’s AMC “We Make Movies Better” ad is now five years old and has been mocked by everyone from the folks at Saturday Night Live to Morgan Freeman at Kidman’s AFI Lifetime Achievement Award evening. But Glaser brilliantly twisted the bit by moving from the action from a shuttered AMC theater to her SUV. There, she gushed about the transcendent nature of podcasts, even as she fast-forwarded through inane ads, hearing Will Arnett and Jason Bateman talk about their favorite cookie flavors on SmartLess and Gwenyth Paltrow reveal that she recently had a 5:45 dinner on Good Hang With Amy Poehler. “We’re not just entertained,” Glaser said with gravity, “but reborn together.” Afterward, Snoop Dogg handed off the first ever Best Podcast award to Poehler. “I know I’m new to this game,” she said. “I have great great respect for this form. I have great respect for everyone I was nominated with. And I love all of you. Except for NPR. You’re just a bunch of celebs phoning it in, so try harder.” —A.G.
Best: Rhea Seehorn Gets the Spotlight
She may not have the A-list star power of some of her peers in the room, but few actors have ever had to carry a show the way former Better Call Saul star Seehorn does Pluribus, where she plays one of a mere dozen humans on Earth to maintain their individual consciousness. Her speech was as human and humble as awards-show moments get. “I’ve been to a lot of these parties that get pretty scary for someone like me,” she said, her voice shaking, before thanking all of the high-wattage women in the audience for showing her the awards-season ropes. After years of unheralded but stellar work, she should get ready to join their ranks for good. —B.H.
Worst: Timothée Chalamet Plays It Straight
Just how many personalities does Timothée Chalamet have? After bidding farewell to sweet-young-French-boy Timmy and humble-Dylan-disciple Timmy, we had just gotten used to the Hypebeast Timmy Tim of his madcap promo tour for Marty Supreme — dancing to Soulja Boy, hanging with streamers, wearing fluorescent-orange puffer jackets, standing on top of the Sphere, proclaiming his own performances “top-level shit.” But then the guy finally wins a (much-deserved) Golden Globe after years of nominations, and murmurs his way through a downright somnolent acceptance speech. Marty Mauser would be disgusted! —B.H.
From Rolling Stone US
