Gallery: Outside In by Jess Macc

BUDJERAH

Outside In

Support Act, they’re just like ok we’re here for Australian artists and like, local acts. Cause we definitely have talent and you know, people that work so hard. Especially in covid they made such a big difference for a lot of people with touring and projects like this, and it’s good to hear those stories too. I’ve always been quite an emotional person. Ever since I was little - shy and quiet. I just feel a lot and I think a lot of artists are similar... Definitely having my family there is a big thing. They always keep me in check. Make sure I don’t get a big head or nothing. Surfing when I can. I like the water, the water kinda refreshes my mind. If my physical health is good I find that’s a big connection to my mental health. My Dad, from doing security dealt with, cause he had to do late nights and didn’t get home until early in the morning from doing security at clubs and stuff. He’d get home at five O’clock in the morning sometimes and sleep all day and then he’d be working all night so he ended up getting a lot of stress from that and watching him go through that and coming through it you know, surfing was something, and being active and eating right was something that helped him overcome that anxiety and stuff so I kinda like learnt from watching my Dad having to deal with that. Now he runs a not for profit organisation with my mum that work with indigenous kids to promote physical health and mental health - through surfing, cause that was his story. So I learnt from that, first hand experience in that.

Jess Macc

BUDJERAH

Outside In

Jess Macc

BUDJERAH

Outside In

Jess Macc

CATHERINE ALCORN

Outside In

For me as an artist, a large portion of who I am is because of my work, so when you’re forced with not being able to move forward, not being able to create, with stagnation, it’s a huge undertaking I think to be able to deal with that. I was forced to sort of, as an existential question, to say well who am I without this work, and I know that to be true for a lot of my friends in the industry. It got dark, it did, and I’m not scared to share that. I think that this is life and you know, pre-covid the music and arts industry was a rollercoaster before hand - that’s just what a freelancer’s lifestyle is and it was just even more so after that. The hardest thing as a performer that I’ve ever been through was when I had my baby. I was back on the road five weeks after my son was born, and I think there’s a lot to say around the conversation about women wanting to be the person they were before the baby, and then be the Mum as well. I chose to go back on tour. I was legally contracted to be on tour but I also wanted to do it, you know? He was my first baby, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I didn’t know that five weeks would feel like a day. We made it work but physically, mentally, spiritually that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. When and if we have another child I will want to have that year off, but then I wonder how will I cope with that year off? Because being a woman in the industry, being a mother in the industry, out of sight is out of mind. Will I stop creating? Will I cope? You know? There are so many different questions and ways to look at your options.

Jess Macc

CATHERINE ALCORN

Outside In

Jess Macc

CATHERINE ALCORN

Outside In

Jess Macc

DALE TANNER

Outside In

Everyone had the chance to sort of you know, plead their case and kinda complain about how this was affecting their livelihood and I feel like musicians and the arts were the first industry to kinda get snubbed and everyone was ok with that cause it was nonessential you know, this word of nonessential getting thrown around and that is such a head fuck. Society is telling me that what I’m pursuing isn’t essential and when push comes to shove doesn’t really matter. The album that we released in that time, since we’ve gone on tour so many people have been like oh my god like, that album or that song was just my covid go-to. Like I’d go on walks and I’d put that album on or go for a run or something and it was my outlet, thank you so much for creating that because it was like a glimmer of positivity or hope amidst all the chaos. Support Act was a really great organisation that was just like for me you know that was the first time, witnessing first hand how they could be there. Last year was like, my lowest year ever. You know, my mind, it does some funny things sometimes but it’s never led me down a path of feeling anxious or depressed. Being in Melbourne during lockdown was really hard on everybody. We weren’t able to make money, we weren’t able to go outside, it just so intense like you could not escape it. It was on the news everyday, every conversation we all know it, we all experienced it but in Melbourne it was just so flared up that I just, I dunno, I was fed up and I didn’t know how to escape it. Then I got covid for the first time so I got sick and then I just crashed. Everything came tumbling down it was like I’d hit my boiling point. So the next month I just felt lethargic and really run down and I didn’t feel myself. I fell into major depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and thats all new, all at once. I’m just like totally cycling on thoughts I can’t stop. It manifested into physically walking in circles in my room, cause that’s what my head was doing. I was just going through these thoughts of, a lot of it was shame and guilt about feeling the way that I did. Shame and guilt about the decision to move to Sydney and leave my friends and my family and my band behind and that potentially being the wrong decision. There was one conversation I had with Luke where he was like what type of thoughts are you having? I’m like yeah you know there’s literally thoughts where I feel like I’m a danger to myself cause I’m walking along the along the pathway and my mind’s telling me you could easily throw yourself in front of that car.

Jess Macc

DALE TANNER

Outside In

Jess Macc

DALE TANNER

Outside In

Jess Macc

JAMAICA MOANA

Outside In

I was in high school at the time, early years I think I was like in year eight or something… When I came out, I was out like I was really out, I was wearing wigs like the day after. I was like I’m here boom, this is me! And at that same time I was in a dance crew that was around all other queer people of colour from the west so we were all from marginalised minorities and really understood each other, so having people within an arm reach away that understood me and looked like me and sounded like me that made it a lot easier. You know because I had solid support from my friends and my family. A lot of people think that they are alone in this life but they forget that you know, our template of this life is actually copied and pasted at least a hundred times in your same city so you’re gonna find people with the same traumas that you’ve been through and all of these other things.. You’ll find them, you just have to put yourself out there.

Jess Macc

JAMAICA MOANA

Outside In

Jess Macc

JAMAICA MOANA

Outside In

Jess Macc

TANIA DOKO

Outside In

My whole adult life I’d been signed to a major record company so you don’t realise how much you identify with that external reference you know, I am signed therefore I am worthy. Well that’s not the case and most of us are independent these days I mean that’s turned on it’s head in a big way and it’s an incredible thing, that a lot of us are independent and we get to have a say. But back then it was very easy to feel like “damaged goods”. It didn’t feel good. It felt as if the dream evaporated. The industry was under a lot of pressure and not all of us could stay on the record company so we were victim to that. Having said that I’m not going to play the blame game I’m not interested in that and it doesn’t serve me to think that way. But how it felt then, cause I had never been independent, felt very foreign. I realised too how fortunate I was years after to even have that because of course not every artist can say they’ve played the major record company game and we had so that was pretty amazing and we got to travel the world. I started to talk to Support Act in Melbourne quarantine when I thought I was going bananas. They’re calling you up downstairs checking on your mental health and then a friend of mine said ok, why don’t we talk to Support Act because this is actually very costly emotionally and financially on your family because of immigration and the quarantine bill. I spoke to a lovely social worker at Support Act. I’ll never forget those conversations, just so assuring that of course I was not alone in that feeling, but established artists were feeling very isolated and alone and feeling like they were going crazy as much as emerging artists. In that sense we were all in it together. I ended up speaking to them a lot and they helped me with grants and just helped so many of us in that year. There’s a lot of us out there playing again but it’s still tough because behaviour has changed. The nature of buying tickets has changed. People buy very last minute, venues get nervy, artists get nervous too so yeah it’s not over, it’s just the aftermath.

Jess Macc

TANIA DOKO

Outside In

Jess Macc

TANIA DOKO

Outside In

Jess Macc

YORKE

Outside In

I moved to Melbourne and within a couple of months we went into lockdown and I was meant to go home for my birthday and I couldn’t, and then my dog died like a couple of weeks later. That was awful, and I couldn’t be there. I think just having like everything I knew taken from me I was like this is… I don’t even know. I was just so out of place I felt, in Melbourne, I wasn’t settled, I was craving stability and I didn’t have that and I hadn’t had that for so long… It felt like I was just flailing. I’m someone that likes to be in control of things and know what’s going on, how I’m feeling and I’m very in touch with my emotions and to not be was so terrifying for me and I really really struggled with it. I think knowing that I was out of control and the way that I was feeling and I didn’t know how to like, guide myself back was even scarier. I ended up feeling like I was burdening anyone that I was in contact with. I did not want to talk about it and it was very internalised, how I was feeling - and that’s not healthy. I know that now retrospectively. There were times where, during lockdown I was like, this is it. Like, I don’t want to keep going which was so terrifying for me cause as I was saying, I knew that that is not me talking, and I think that made it worse for me being someone that is very in tune. Like why am I thinking this? I ended up writing about it on my EP which is actually the title track “Ten Feet Tall”. I kind of have always been, not scared of going to see a therapist, but like, I think I grew up with this stigma that, that means weakness, and then I moved to Melbourne and everyone's like, so who's your therapist?

Jess Macc

YORKE

Outside In

Jess Macc

YORKE

Outside In

Jess Macc

Outside In, Music Unveiled, brought to the world by Support Act and Hustle Media, is a captivating and groundbreaking fusion of photography and introspective storytelling by Jess Macc.

In this unique portrait series, Macc masterfully captured the essence and vulnerability of some of the Australian music industry’s most iconic figures.

Series one of Outside In brought mental health to the forefront of the music world. Through candid and heartfelt interviews conducted during the photography sessions, artists opened up about their personal journeys, struggles, and triumphs.