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Nick Cave on His Journey Through Grief: ‘Disgraceful Self-Indulgence’

“Rather than making me bitter, it did the opposite in some way. It made me much more connected to people in general,” the Bad Seeds frontman said

Nick Cave

Olafur Steinar Gestsson/Ritzau Scanpix/AFP via Getty Images

Nick Cave, the legendary frontman of The Bad Seeds, has once again bared his soul, offering a reflection on the transformative power of grief.

In a deeply moving interview with ABC Australia, filmed in May—the anniversary of his son Jethro’s passing—and aired on Aug. 12, Cave delved into how the devastating losses of his two sons have reshaped his existence as both an artist and a human being.

While Cave’s music has often explored themes of loss, recent years have brought these motifs into stark reality. In 2015, tragedy struck when Arthur, one of Cave’s twin sons with wife Susie, died in a devastating accident at age 15. The artist’s world was shaken again in 2022 with the passing of his eldest son, Jethro Lazenby, at 31 following struggles with mental health.

The tragedies have profoundly altered Cave’s perspective on life and art.

“That idea that art trounces everything, it just doesn’t apply to me anymore,” he said. “Rather than making me bitter, it did the opposite in some way. It made me much more connected to people in general.”

Cave’s journey through grief has led to a remarkable transformation in his artistic approach and personal philosophy. Once consumed by a monastic dedication to his craft, he now views his earlier self-absorption with a critical eye: “For most of my life I was just sort of in awe of my own genius, you know, and I had an office and would sit there and write every day and whatever else happened in my life was peripheral. This just collapsed completely and I just saw the folly of that, the kind of disgraceful self-indulgence of the whole thing.”

In the wake of his sons’ deaths, Cave found an unexpected lifeline in his relationship with the public, particularly through his website, The Red Hand Files. This platform, where he answers personal and often heart-wrenching questions from fans, has become a vital connection to the outside world.

“It was also a kind of lifeline for me that reached out and collected up these people. It’s something that’s just allowed me to remain open to the world rather than shut down,” he said.

“There’s a great beauty in The Red Hand Files that, you know, it’s an extreme privilege to be receiving these letters from people. It’s this bizarre opportunity for people to indulge to some degree in their grief.”

Cave’s evolving perspective on grief is both nuanced and life-affirming: “There is the initial cataclysmic event [where] we eventually rearrange ourselves so that we become creatures of loss as we get older, [and] this is part of our fundamental fabric of what we are as human beings. We are things of loss. This is not a tragic element to our lives but rather a deepening that brings incredible meaning.”

The Bad Seeds are set to release their new album, Wild God, on Aug. 30. Co-produced by Warren Ellis and mixed by David Fridmann, the album promises a blend of convention and experimentation, with Cave’s haunting narratives at its core.

The third single, “Long Dark Night,” offers a glimpse into the dark beauty that Wild God is set to deliver.