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The 50 Worst Album Covers of All Time

From rock to rap to country and beyond, it’s an assortment of images that you can’t unsee no matter how hard you try

50 worst album covers of all time

Hubris, lack of taste, massive amounts of drugs: There are many reasons for terrible album covers.

This gallery collects 50 of the worst. Enter the carnival tent to witness the monstrosities, the design disasters, the images that you can’t unsee no matter how hard you try. As you will see, even as they fail by the traditional yardsticks of being “good” or “visually compelling,” many of these album covers are at least memorable, and so we gather here to celebrate the craziness of these choices, not to shame the artists behind them. (Admittedly, we’re also going to laugh at them.)

Our selection criteria for the list, other than fugliness: We skewed toward major artists with the resources of professional graphic designers who really should have known better. (Some of rock music’s most revered design firms, such as Hipgnosis, are also some of the worst offenders here.) No more than one album per artist. No mercy for the album’s music actually being good (that happens more often than you’d think).

Yes, these are all real. As you look at these album covers, remember: With each one of these, multiple highly paid people thought this was a good idea.

20

Van Halen, ‘Balance’

This was the last of four Van Hagar albums, but surely there’s a better way to illustrate the conflict between Eddie Van Halen and Sammy Hagar than an image of hair-pulling conjoined twins? (Contrary to rumor, the kid posing as both twins is not Wolfgang Van Halen.) For extra ick factor, the twins roughly mimic the shape of the Van Halen logo.

19

Chumbawamba, ‘Tubthumper’

If Spencer Elden can sue Nirvana (unsuccessfully) because he’s unhappy about his appearance as a baby on the cover of Nevermind, shouldn’t the baby on the cover of Tubthumper have the basis for a lawsuit for having unwillingly seared the eyeballs of the entire record-buying public of the Western Hemisphere?

18

Scorpions, ‘Lovedrive’

This isn’t even the worst Scorpions LP cover — that would be the original art for the German metal band’s Virgin Killer, featuring a naked 12-year-old girl, which is why we won’t be compiling it here. This is a fitting companion piece, since the bubblegum image is basically a 12-year-old boy’s vision of what happens in the back of limousines.

17

Orleans, ‘Waking and Dreaming’

Judging by this picture, we have to conclude that the secret to soft-rock success was lots of hair: robust beards, hirsute chests, nipples crowned in fuzz. (We’re definitely supposed to pay attention to that hairy nipple, given the index finger pointing right at it.) But this album cover doesn’t work because it aims for “fantasy of debauched orgy with the whole band” and ends up at “nightmare where we forgot to put on our clothes before the gig” instead.

16

Bob Dylan, ‘Saved’

You may have seen better art on religious tracts handed out by missionaries at the bus station. The big takeaway here: According to Bob Dylan, God is a righty.

15

Bee Gees, ‘Cucumber Castle’

What do you notice first about this cover? If you’re a Bee Gees fan, it might be the absence of Robin Gibb: He had recently quit the band for a solo career, temporarily leaving his brothers Barry and Maurice behind. For everybody else, it’s that Australia’s finest are clad in medieval armor and red plumes. It’s a still from a BBC movie they starred in (also called Cucumber Castle), but given the multiple fashion phases the Gibbs went through, let’s just enjoy the absurdity of this image and assume they had a period where they regularly went onstage wearing chain mail.

14

Yes, ‘Going for the One’

Abandoning the fantasy cover art of Roger Dean, Yes opted for a naked man looking up at some skyscrapers. In the spirit of glorious prog-rock excess, it was a triple-gatefold LP, which meant that it unfolded to reveal … more skyscrapers. They were presumably meant to evoke “generic office buildings,” but in fact were the very identifiable Century Plaza Towers in the Los Angeles region. Singer Jon Anderson said the lines on the cover intersecting with the man’s torso represented “points of the anatomy relative to our development,” which means that either we don’t understand the artistic concept or he doesn’t.

13

Trick Daddy, ‘www.thug.com’

Some elements of popular music now seem dated only a few years later: for example, specific drum-machine sounds or references to short-lived dance crazes. But it turns out that nothing dates an album more decidedly than having the cover art look like an internet browser. (Yeah, this is what a lot of the net looked like in 1998, when people still referred to it as the World Wide Web.) In case you’re confused, Florida rapper Trick Daddy helpfully includes an update at the bottom of the screen: “you are now ‘on-line.’”

12

David Allan Coe, ‘Spectrum VII’

If not for our self-imposed limit of one album per artist, country star David Allan Coe would have multiple entries on this list: perhaps Texas Moon (Coe and his band mooning the camera) or Son of the South (Coe draped in a Confederate flag with his baby son on his lap) or maybe Family Album (Coe with two of his wives — he was a polygamist who was married to as many as seven women at the same time). But of all his bonkers cover art, this one, where a shirtless Coe poses on the beach with conch shells for a Caribbean-inflected album, goes the furthest over the top, with the enormous “David Allan Coe” belt buckle being the crowning touch. The package feels like a Dirk Diggler side project late in the running time of Boogie Nights.

11

Donny Osmond, ‘Disco Train’

Given that this album was a particularly craven effort to cash in on the disco trend, it’s fitting that the train is barreling toward Donny Osmond, who isn’t going to be able to push that piano off the tracks in time. Also, the shawl and top hat combo, while groovy in its own demented way, wasn’t often spotted in discos.

10

Cappadonna, ‘Black Tarrzann’

Apparently, Black Tarrzann wears a nice fleece-lined sweater and sports a gold watch; has affinity with bears, eagles, stags, and lions; and is the victim of one of the worst Photoshop atrocities of the 21st century. Wu-Tang Clan rapper Cappadonna did not take criticism of this cover well, so we’ll just say that on the upside, it reminds us of the tuna-vs.-shark argument in The Other Guys when Mark Wahlberg tells Will Ferrell, “If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you, and then I’d bang your tuna girlfriend.”

9

Dolly Parton, ‘Bubbling Over’

Dolly Parton, photographed in Nashville near the Country Music Hall of Fame for the cover of her twelfth solo album, appears in the background and also disturbingly manifests as a vision inside a fountain. Album buyers are left to decide whether the light in Nashville refracts in unusual ways, whether Parton is a water witch entrusted with Excalibur, or whether the fountain is a metaphor for the music industry stealing performers’ souls and turning them into evanescent froth.

8

Three Dog Night, ‘Hard Labor’

As a visual metaphor for the effort Three Dog Night had put into recording this LP, which contained the hit single “The Show Must Go On,” the album featured a giant mutant chicken creature in a hospital delivery room giving birth, attended by a team of obstetricians in scrubs. Her offspring, held with forceps, is a vinyl LP. The public reaction was strongly and immediately negative: The record company promptly covered up the lower portion of the cover with a large Band-Aid style bandage so that nobody would think that giant mutant chicken creatures give birth to anything except baby mutant chicken creatures.

7

Kanye West, ‘The Life of Pablo’

The Kanye Conundrum: Does he mean it? In this case, does he actually believe that this is a compelling album cover, or is he trying to push an eyesore aesthetic so far that it goes around the bend and becomes art, or is he just too distracted by the squirrels inside his head to care? The answer: It doesn’t matter! Just like Ye said actual antisemitic things, and you don’t have to waste your time parsing whether he was being “ironic,” you can say that whatever his intentions were, this album got hit by the ugly stick and then move on.

6

Aretha Franklin, ‘Hey Now Hey (The Other Side of the Sky)’

Remember Cecilia Giménez, the elderly Spanish woman who took it upon herself to restore a 19th-century fresco of Jesus Christ in the Santuario de la Misericordia in city of Borja, despite no actual artistic experience or ability, and made such a botch of it that the result became international news in 2012 and was nicknamed “Monkey Christ”? Yeah, that’s the vibe here, except nobody’s lining up to take a selfie in front of this Aretha album. 

5

Ted Nugent, ‘Love Grenade’

Another cover that got pulled by the record company just before it was officially released. Ted Nugent’s misogyny was extremely on-brand for him by this point, so we can only wonder which element was one step too far for an anonymous marketing executive. Was it having the naked model trussed up like a turkey? Was it having her served on a plate with enormous vegetables? Was it the grenade in her mouth?

4

Crosby, Stills & Nash, ‘Live It Up’

Rejected album titles: 1. Was All That Money I Made Last Year for Wieners on the Moon? 2. If You Believe in a Dog on the Moon 3. The Hot Dog on the Broken Stick Is a Neil Young Reference 4. How Are We Going to Grill These Hot Dogs Without Oxygen? 5. There Are No Wieners on the Moon, Actually It’s All Wieners

3

Creed, ‘Weathered’

If you want proof that nepotism is a scourge on our cultural landscape, you need only consider this album cover, the creation of guitarist Mark Tremonti’s brother Daniel Tremonti. We’d be annoyed by the semi-competent Photoshop fakery of the band’s faces being digitally carved into a digital tree, except that no real-life tree deserves to have Creed carved into it.

2

Roger Daltrey, ‘Ride a Rock Horse’

If you’re the lead singer of an internationally renowned rock band like the Who and you record a solo album at the height of your band’s success, the only good reason for doing that is because that allows you to express a side of your personality that has been squelched by your main gig: being a goddamn centaur. Bonus points for Daltrey not only pumping his fist at the awesomeness of finally living out his dream, but also doing an impossible backbend and pumping his hoof.

1

Limp Bizkit, ‘Presents Chocolate St★rfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water’

Five Gollum-looking dudes lolling around on a bed of nitrate-infused meat? Sure, that’s a fair representation of Limp Bizkit. Following up on their breakthrough hit Significant Other, the nu metal band leaned even harder into being repulsive — “chocolate starfish” is a slang term for “asshole,” a nickname vocalist Fred Durst adopted with pride — as a substitute for an actual artistic philosophy. This cover (made by the band’s guitarist, Wes Borland) is both tacky and gross, but at least it works as a warning label: What you see is what you get.