Nikki Glaser kicked off the 2026 Golden Globes with a no-holds-barred monologue, taking cheeky shots at Wicked’s run-time, Leonardo DiCaprio’s dating history, Timothée Chalamet’s preparation for Marty Supreme, and CBS News’ pivot to becoming “America’s newest place to see BS news.”
The comedian took center stage Sunday night, marking the second time in a row she’s hosted one of Hollywood’s biggest nights. “We are celebrating the best of both TV and film right here in the heart of Los Angeles, where no TV or film has been made for the past six years,” Glaser quipped.
Glaser left no stone unturned in her 10-minute opening monologue, coming out of the gate by touching on the ongoing Jeffrey Epstein scandal. “I cannot believe the amount of star power we have in this room tonight,” Glaser began. “It’s insane. There are so many A-listers, and by A-listers, I do mean people who are on a heavily redacted list. But yes, and the Golden Globe for Best Editing goes to the Justice Department!”
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Glaser saved her most savage commentary for the night’s leading men, starting first with DiCaprio, who is nominated for Best Performance by a Male Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy for One Battle After Another. Giving a brief overview of the actor’s lengthy resume, Glaser remarked, “The most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish all of that before your girlfriend turned 30.”
“I mean, it’s just insane, Leo,” Glaser continued. “I’m sorry I made that joke. It’s cheap. You know what? I tried not to, but we don’t know anything else about you, man, like there’s nothing else.”
DiCaprio’s co-star Sean Penn also got his turn in the hot seat, with Glaser saying while everyone else in Hollywood is committed to looking younger, Penn is “slowly morph[ing] into a sexy leather handbag.”
Sinners’ Michael B. Jordan playing twin brothers? “When I saw that, I was like Nikki B. jerkin’,” Glaser quipped, laughing as she apologized to Jordan’s mother, who was sitting beside him. “I’m so sorry. I should not have said that to you. That should have been a DM, my mistake.”
Glaser also took a shot at Wicked: For Good, calling it “Wicked for money.” “Once again, Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande gave us two career-defining performances,” Glaser added. “I mean, it was so emotional. Two hours into that movie, I was just in tears, like, I can’t believe there’s 45 minutes left.”
Glaser encouraged directors Guillermo del Toro and James Cameron to “keep making weird monster sex movies” and ribbed Paramount, the night’s streaming host, for its bid to acquire Warner Bros, as well as taking shots at the company’s news network, CBS News, for its new and controversial editorial direction.
Earlier on the red carpet, Glaser told Entertainment Tonight that she’s been rehearsing her opening monologue for the past month, describing the preparation as “really intense work.” Glaser has plenty of silly bits and upwards of nine outfit changes planned throughout the night, one of which hinges on whether an undisclosed celebrity agrees to participate.
From Rolling Stone US
