Since the 1897 publication of H.G. Wells’ novel The War of the Worlds, the story and its subsequent adaptations has served as the quintessential allegory for the power struggles that shape our world — and a time capsule of the media that informs us about them. There was the Orson Welles-directed radio broadcast that actually convinced listeners that aliens were attacking Earth; the 1953 technicolor version starring Gene Barry that evoked the newscaster era of WWII; and Steven Spielberg’s 2005 take starring Tom Cruise, which narrowed in on 24-hour news and how powerless a modern world without electricity can become. And now, there’s an Amazon Prime version of The War of the Worlds starring Ice Cube, which … also exists.
Put aside the almost prophetic tagline “It’s Worse Than You Think” and join Ice Cube in a fictional Washington, D.C., for a tale told entirely through a screen recording of one government laptop. The hip-hop legend plays Will Radford, an employee for the Department of Homeland Security who is working a solo Sunday shift he spends illegally surveilling American citizens. In addition to trying to coordinate a secret raid against a digital terrorist named Disruptor, who is threatening to release government secrets, Will is also video-calling NASA scientist Sandra Salas (Eva Longoria) about mysterious weather across the country, following his pregnant daughter Faith (Iman Benson) via public cameras to control her coffee order, verbally abusing her Amazon driver baby-daddy Mark (Devon Bostick), and saving just enough time to critique his streamer son David (Henry Hunter Hall) before he jumps on a Teams call with national security leaders. But when a series of asteroids hits every major city in the world, including D.C., Will is forced to use his super-secret spy tech to both get his son and daughter to safety and figure out what a league of attacking alien tripods want with the human race — all in the same keystrokes.
The basic formula for The War of the Worlds has remained consistent through the story’s historical permutations. Man. World. Robot. Invasion. Death. News. So it’s somewhat shocking that a film that was practically already written for director Rich Lee here manages to fly off the rails so spectacularly. This War of the Worlds isn’t bad or even so-bad-it’s-good. It’s a secret third thing, a hodgepodge of shoddy CGI and dead-eyed reaction shots from Ice Cube that make you feel like you can identify individual brain cells mid-death cycle. Since its quiet release on Amazon Prime’s streaming service on July 30, War of the Worlds has steadily built a word-of-mouth reputation for its sheer ridiculousness. The film has 0% score on review aggregate site Rotten Tomatoes and has already become meme fodder on sites like X and TikTok. But don’t let the noise fool you. This corporation-coddling remake is so unparseable you’ll actively wish it were worse — or just over.
Here are just a few examples of the baffling details that the film tries to convince viewers are completely reasonable. Will and his NASA friend Sandra send highly confidential and time-sensitive government information over Microsoft Teams video chat. An FBI agent attends a secret terrorist raid while on FaceTime. A highly trained government operative doesn’t know the keyboard shortcuts for copy and paste. A Gen Z couple use Facebook as their primary social media. The president utters the phrase “Let’s do this war of the worlds.” Ice Cube watches several people expire in a fiery and targeted death and is more upset that his home was destroyed. A (fictional) tweet from Joe Rogan is displayed onscreen as earnest proof of the team’s success. An ongoing alien siege cripples the world’s militaries, infrastructure, and communication centers but Will can run Premiere Pro, FaceTime, WhatsApp, Microsoft Teams, Zoom, and remote control a Tesla all at the same time. Oh, and an Amazon Prime drone saves the day after a character earnestly calls it “the future of delivery.”
Bad movies have existed forever, and sometimes they’re so awful they spin all the way back around to beloved. Works like The Room, Sharknado, and Repo! The Genetic Opera have built cult followings from this narrative, and it’s a canon this new War of the Worlds would be lucky to join. Too bad the film is such a trainwreck that it is forever barred entry by me personally. No, thank you. Do not pass go. Is this a movie or a money laundering scheme? It’s not even enjoyably funny, because you’re immediately distracted from the alien invasion unfolding in front of you and instead stuck thinking about the gambling debts the actors in this film are trying to wipe clean. If you squint, close your eyes, and then ram your head into a brick or cement wall several times, you might find some irony in Wells’ seminal anti-Manifest Destiny text being co-opted by the very corporation that can reasonably be accused of colonizing the internet. But that would require brainpower — and War of the Worlds makes sure to suck that dry.
From Rolling Stone US
Love Music?
Get your daily dose of everything happening in Australian/New Zealand music and globally.
